How to Handle Grief: A Personal Journey of Healing

Introduction

Grief is a universal phenomenon. It can be devastating. When we experience loss, it can become both a burden and a companion. We have all experienced grief at one point in life, often as a response to loss. The loss could be a person or thing. 

A woman embodies grief in this evocative image (tCaPC).

Have you ever experienced loss and moving on becomes a struggle? Does handling grief after a huge loss feel like a vortex hard to escape? Do you feel helpless and clueless about how to navigate grief? 

Read on to discover how you can get past the pain, and move on. While grief is common, people approach the healing process quite differently, yet the process is the same for everyone. You can draw insight from John’s story and how he found hope amid the pain.

John’s Story

John loves the challenge of work and new knowledge. He puts in more than 100%, always demonstrating excellent work ethic. In seven years, he rose to senior management and was determined to go even higher. He understands has plans for the future, but the idea of family feels like a burden. He has a girlfriend who is used to his half-hearted commitment to their future together. John arrives at the office one morning to a sack note from HR. The company is downsizing and faced with the tough decision of letting go of most of its best hands. They compensate him fairly well, but John feels devastated. He feels a huge sense of loss. He's been building his career for years. He couldn't move on, not even the support of family and friends could pull him out.

A man overwhelmed by grief and loss (tCaPC).

John feels a strong sense of attachment to his job. When he loses it, it feels like the world is over. He fails to realize the potential lying within him. He does not see past his current state and that plunges him into depression and despondency. Over time, he realizes that to heal and move on, he has to confront his grief. He decided to seek professional help, and soon he mustered the strength to heal and move on.

Here's John’s journey to healing, you might learn a thing or two that works for you, read on:

The Initial Blow 

John’s story is peculiar. He suffers profound and sudden loss. He never imagined that the company would lay him off one day. The loss cut through him like a knife because he had committed so much to building his career. His life practically revolves around his work. With his rise to senior management, he was certain nothing could stop him. However, he found the courage to move on having realized that loss is inevitable in life.

Confronting Grief Head-On

At the outset of his loss, John found himself daily plunging deeper into grief. He was at a crossroads of how and where to begin to build afresh. The sheer idea of starting all over scared him a lot. He thought he had come too far to start all over. He withdrew into himself, giving in despair and loneliness. However, a strong sense of purpose and commitment to his dreams spurred him into action.

Solitude and reflection: a man lost in thought on a desolate couch (tCaPC).

From Medication to Self-Love

Image shows individuals wearing 'Volunteer' shirts (tCaPC).

Every grieving process is unique. John struggled to cope with the loss. His only solace was in alcohol. The numbing feeling would help him get over the pain. However, over time, he realized that the lifestyle could cost him. The side effects of repeated alcohol use could affect his health, and jeopardize his future. He didn't want to end up with any alcohol-related health issues. He began reflecting on ways to live healthier. He replaced alcohol with exercise and a healthier diet. He joined a community of young people in his neighbourhood teaching classes to children with Down syndrome. Volunteering to help kids with learning impairment helped redefine John’s sense of purpose and direction. The idea that he could still be of relevance to anyone boosted his self-worth.

Finding Comfort in Others

During the first few weeks of his grieving period. John refused all forms of support and encouragement from family and friends. He frustrated every effort his girlfriend made to reach out to him. With time he realized that to heal he needed to find comfort in others. Soon he was open to socialising and integrating into his community. He found new ways to be happy, and share in a new connection with others. He found this new path rejuvenating and this renewed his hope for the future.

Seeking solace together. Join us at the Counselling and Psychotherapy Collective (tCaPC) for meaningful connections.

Finding Purpose in Creativity and Occupation

One way of handling grief is by getting back to the things that make us happy. Getting back to our hobbies, and the activities that we love helps rebuild our sense of purpose, often offering new paths. John, in our story, discovered a part of him that he never knew existed. Volunteering was first an escape route from grief, however, it became a sign that he was capable of excelling at other things, like teaching. By charting a new path, he succeeded in funneling his grief into a lucrative life. He later founded a learning centre for kids with special needs.

Nurturing Purpose: At tCaPC, every journey matters.

Rediscovering Strength and Resilience

The journey through grief is gradual, as we see in John’s case. He discovered new potentials within and the courage to start afresh. Though he occasionally remembers his former status and where he would have been, he eventually embraced the prospects of the new life ahead.

Conclusion

Embracing Self-Discovery: Reflecting on Identity and Purpose (tCaPC).

Grief is a universal phenomenon that's unique to everyone. It is a journey of misery, sadness and anxiety. But also of self-discovery, purpose and direction. By confronting his grief, John focuses on finding self-love, new connections and purpose amid the pain. His story can be an encouragement for anyone navigating loss with no hope in sight. His experience and victory should inspire hope. Losing someone or something dear is not the end of the road. It is not a break from living and finding happiness again.