Understanding The Psychological Impact Of Trauma

For a long time, trauma and its psychological impact on human behavior were pushed aside. Most of us found it hard to believe that the negative incidents we had experienced at certain times in our lives, and brushed them aside, could find their way back to disrupt our progress. You would say, ‘Yes, I was called Twinkle Toe as a university freshman, but it does not mean anything,’ yet, you would rather sulk in your pajamas than walk barefoot on the beach with friends.

We all process trauma differently, but to heal, we have to understand its roots, how, and why it has affected us.

Reflecting on the Past: Understanding the Emotional Impact of Trauma (tCaPC)

What is trauma?

Trauma is a dominant and consistent emotional response to a painful or negative event. It is not just about the shock immediately after the event. If not properly dealt with or managed, the effects can influence our behavior for years, even if the event does not happen again. The most paraded forms of trauma like wars, sexual assault, and natural disasters can not be over-emphasized, however, we can also have traumatic experiences in our relationships, with our health, and even in our social interactions. For Ethan, it was his relationship.

The Genesis

Ethan was a sweet boy. He loved his mum and dad together, or at least he loved what they showed him when they were together. He always thought his parents loved each other. They slept in the same house and they put on a great show in front of him. So, he assumed that they were in a great space. One day, Ethan came back from school and his mom was not at home. He got to the kitchen, served himself some freshly cooked food, and waited for his mum. Some hours later, his dad walked into the house. The sky was dark already and Ethan was yet to see his mum. So he asks his dad about her.

Sighing, his Dad sat him down and told him his mum would no longer be living with them. She had moved to Ohio, but he could visit anytime he wanted. No, Ethan screamed. Why did she go? His dad explained to him that they were getting a divorce as they were not doing well together. Ethan wanted his mum and dad together. He wondered why they would pretend that they were good when nothing was going right. He reminisced the smiles on their faces when they talked to him and he could instantly see the facade. He was hurt, broken, and confused, and he ran into his room.

While divorce can take a huge toll on children, Ethan took it pretty hard. He began to wonder if everyone was living a facade like his parents. He was in shock and denial. Sometimes, he would come home from school, expecting to meet his mum, but he would not meet anybody. It was an overwhelming situation. Ethan's dad did not know how to help his son, however, he assumed Ethan would get over it after some time.

Childhood Trauma: The Silent Struggle (tCaPC).

The Long-term effects

Ethan went through loads of transitions during this period. He went from being a sweet happy boy to a sad and angry teenager. After about 18 months, Ethan began to accept that his dad and mum, two people who claimed to be in love, may never be together again. So, he moved on, but did he move on?

Deep into his teenage years, Ethan began to notice something. If he made plans with his friends and they did not come at the exact time, he would get anxious. He was overwhelmed with fear and was obsessively time-conscious. When his friends come, they end up arguing and everyone goes back home angry.

While he tried everything possible to satisfy his feelings, he fell in love with his beautiful project partner, Maria, in high school. However, Ethan could not shake the feeling that she would one day walk straight out of his life and never love him again. Maria loved him but hated that he could not trust her. When Ethan was alone, he could not help but wonder if his mum ever loved him, or if Maria hated that they were together. He was dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder and was almost always in a bad mood.

Maria knew about Ethan's parents' divorce, but she also knew about how it affected him. However, she also wanted to be happy and Ethan was not giving her that. She decided to talk to him.

Seeking professional help

After listening to Maria's honest concerns, Ethan agreed that he needed to heal. He agreed that he compared Maria to his parents and he decided to seek professional help. He did not want to lose her. Ethan decided to try trauma-based therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy.

The trauma-based therapy specifically addressed the way he processed his parents' divorce. While Ethan accepted the way he grieved, he needed to know that people grow apart from each other. He also needed to know that his parents were only protecting him, that's why they faked smiles in front of him. During the therapy, Ethan spoke to his mum and told her how he honestly felt about the divorce. She apologized and he decided to visit her.

Cognitive behavioral therapy focused on correcting negative thought patterns and how they affected Ethan's behavior. Ethan needed to know that people disappeared for various reasons. It was not because they did not love him. He needed to trust that Maria would show up if they had plans even if she was a little late.

Seeking Professional Help: The Path to Healing from Trauma (tCaPC).

A few months later, Ethan was doing better. Three times a week, he went to therapy and gradually worked through his traumatic memories and behavior.

Conclusion

If you or your loved ones have had any traumatic experiences that are still affecting your thoughts or behavior today, seek professional help. You can not do it alone. Never compare yourself to others or assume the way you process grief or trauma should be similar to someone else's. There is no shame in getting tensed for what happened ten years ago. It is never too late to seek professional support.